We often hear that horses are incredible mirrors of human emotions and behavior. Equine-assisted therapy is built on this very concept—horses respond to what we project, reflecting our energy, emotions, and intentions. But if we truly believe that horses mirror us, then why is traditional horse training based on dominance and coercion?
This contradiction got me thinking. If we don’t want our horses to behave in certain ways, why do we act in those exact ways toward them?
The ‘Move Out of My Way’ Rule
One of the most common training principles is that when a human walks toward a horse, the horse should move out of the way—because we are the leader. But what happens when a horse does the same thing to a human? Suddenly, it’s a problem. The horse is labeled as pushy or disrespectful.
If horses mirror us, wouldn’t it make more sense to politely ask them to move? Or better yet, to simply walk around them, just as we would with another person? I do this all the time, and I’ve found that my horses are careful around me in return. They don’t barge into my space because they know I respect theirs.
Instant Obedience: An Unrealistic Expectation?
Another common belief is that a horse should respond instantly to a cue. If there’s a delay, people often assume the horse is being stubborn or testing boundaries. But have you ever considered how long it takes for humans to process a command?
Think about how difficult it is to immediately react in games like Simon Says or Red Light, Green Light. Even when you’re paying full attention, your brain needs time to process the instruction before your body can act. The same applies to horses.
Horses are no different. Their brains need time to process what we’re asking. If we expect immediate responses from them, shouldn’t we hold ourselves to the same standard? Or better yet, recognize that response time is natural and give them the patience we’d want for ourselves?
Accidents, Apologies, and Mutual Respect
We tell horses they must respect our space, but how often do we invade theirs without thinking? We push past them, move them abruptly, or even bump into them while handling tools like brooms or wheelbarrows. But when they accidentally touch us, we correct them immediately.
I’ve made it a habit to apologize when I accidentally touch my horses without warning. If I’m sweeping and I bump into them, I acknowledge it, just as I would with another person. And you know what? My horses are careful with me in return. Maybe it’s not because they see me as dominant, but because they trust that I will always extend the same courtesy to them.
The best way to get a respectful horse
There’s a widespread belief that horses reflect our energy, but maybe they also reflect something deeper: how we treat them. When we interact with horses using patience and respect, they respond with trust and understanding in return.
So maybe the goal isn’t to establish dominance. Maybe the best way to get a respectful horse… is to respect them first.
Rethinking Horse Training
If we truly believe that horses mirror us, it’s time to reconsider how we train them. Instead of demanding instant obedience, we can recognize their need for processing time. Instead of forcing them out of our space, we can ask politely—or simply walk around them. Instead of expecting perfect behavior while ignoring our own inconsistencies, we can lead by example.
When we treat horses the way we want to be treated, we may just find that they respond with the same level of care and consideration.
So what then?
At Equithink, we recognize this contradiction and have changed our approach to training. We crossed over to R+ training and this has changed our lives in so many ways. For the horses and for the humans. We believe that horses are far more intelligent than they are often given credit for. We are committed to exploring ways to give them more choice and control in their environment through puzzels and enrichment objects and build a shared communication system between horses and humans. By understanding how horses think, process and respond, we can create interactions that are based on mutual respect and understanding—moving beyond dominance-based training to true partnership.
Interested in our work? Check out our website www.equithink.nl
